


find me in the fog

by Pinnacle of Failure (Cromirn)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Blood, Gen, Gore, Vampire AU, Vampires, Violence, characters will be added as they come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-16 16:42:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16499024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cromirn/pseuds/Pinnacle%20of%20Failure
Summary: In the mist of peace, she thirsts for blood. It calls her name in its dahlia red and her throat aches when she thinks about it. But this is not the time for bloodlust, this is the time to fix what she is, to make herself better for her and her friends.





	1. if i was

The night stands still most of the year, silence ringing in the ears of the villagers. It has been like this since the first house was built on this land, not a predator in sight. Leaves will rustle, but they won’t take care because that is normal. An animal will cry out in pain and fear; but they won’t take care because such a sound means they’re protected. 

The days are nicer. There are smiles and happy good mornings. They notice a few sheep missing, but it’s nothing to worry about because they will run off every now and again. They trust that they will come back. Birds sing and the rabbits scuffle around the dirt streets, snagging food and bumping into passerbys. 

Months can go by and nothing changes. There are the rabbits and the birds and the screams at night, and they don’t give any concerns. One year, there is an obvious influx of travelers. Not just merchants intent on expanding their revenue or newlyweds looking for a place to settle down, they are just travelers.

That’s when things begin to change. 

There are no more haunting screams in the middle of the night, the rodent population is on a steep decline, and the whistles and cries of the birds are a lot quieter. They don’t question it, but something does settle within their guts, twisting and curling like a snake around its prey. 

It is two months after the arrival of the last set of travelers that things really go down. The town's population is higher than normal, they are having troubles finding housing and food for the new people. It’s an early winter, and they can’t waste their wood for more buildings. There is a soft hum in the nights, a stark contrast to the howls of the dying.

They can’t keep things outside now. With some sleeping in the streets and alleys in makeshift tents, it invites the cold into their veins and a certain hardness to their hearts. Without the walls to protect them from the winds they can see the truth. 

The truth is that there is something haunting their forests, the frosts of winter brings unexpected guests and those who wish to finally feed once more. 

Monsters of the night crawl through the canopies like shadows beneath the sun, prowling for their next victim. They are silent throughout most of the winter, but like everything it must come to an end.

It’s spring when the murders happen. No one knows who’s doing it, the travelers who’ve stayed the winter now flee and those who stay try to keep out of the way. Bodies are found, small wounds adorn their throats and wrists. 

The most observant(and by proxy- unbothered by the dead) find little blood dyed hairs. They note that they get longer and longer after each kill. It’s after the hundredth death that they realize that this something is more than just that.

It’s late March when it gets really bad. One man, one of their lumberjacks, manages to harm the thing before it tears his trachea out, his death more brutal than the last. They assume it’s because he injured the creature, and they now fear that his actions just killed the entire village.

~~~

“You’ll need to start restraining them before you feed, little one,” the old man says, face obscured by a mask, “You are young, and that makes you vulnerable. It also gives you more options than I, and you need to make intelligent decisions when facing such an opponent.” He pats a bandage down on her face as he speaks.

“But I did it like I did everyone else,” Sakura whines, pressing her face closer to his large hand, “He just had that thing with him and I wasn’t fast enough to cast that illusion spell.”

The man nods, “You are still young, remember. It takes time to strengthen something like illusion techniques.”

She groans, “That man really hurt me though. Why was he so mean?”

“He was drunk,” was his quick reply, “Most of his profession are, it clouds their senses and makes the strain of their work more bearable but it also affects his home life. You don’t see many lumberjacks with happy wives and children.”

"What should I do the next time, then?"

"You are only a few months old, Sakura, the most you can do is pick weaker prey. Hide yourself from them, but also show your face. Make them trust you, enter their homes and their hearts and prove to them that you are weak. Turn your weakness into your strength, show them how trust is their murderer and not you."

She hums, looking into his eyes. "But what if they don't trust me? Let me into their homes and whatever?"

"You are a small girl, parentless and a sad, pathetic little thing. They'll take pity on you, and it's easier to trust from pity than charm." He says, and leans away from the edge of the bed, his dark eyes rolling over his work. "There are lessons with every failure. The more you fail, the more you learn. The more you learn, the more you grow."

"But I don't wanna fail, failing makes me feel bad inside."

He snorts, "That's you growing."

Sakura sighs, and slips off of the bed. "I guess," she mutters as she palms her ribs, "but I don' like it. It makes me feel sad and angry and that I have to tear it apart and start over again."

"Growth," he grunts.

Something crosses her mind, and she pivots on her heel and looks at him, "Can I still grow without failure?" she asks, something tinting at her voice.

"You're literally months old; no."

"Would it make a difference if I wasn't?"

"Wasn't what?”

"So young. Small."

This time he's the one to sigh. "What is with these questions, Sakura."

"I don't want to fail you, you said that if I never fail you - not once - then you'll tell me your name." She says, and moves closer to him. "I want to call you by something."

"You've lasted so long without calling me anything, why start it now and not then?" He asks, and pulls out a chair to the desk, "Did that woodcutter say something to you?"

"Uhm, no, not exactly-"

"''Not exactly'? Sakura, I am your mentor, I was the one to dig you up from the roots and I have taken up the duty to show you the ropes of this world. You're a vampire, Sakura, and I am making an investment in you to make sure you thrive." He tells her, his tone all no-nonsense and very scolding. "I have been around for a century, I have seen many wars and much more blood than I could ever wish for. You have been born in the dryness of peace, and that makes you more dangerous than I ever was in my youth.  
It's important for you to know when you need to feed when you need to hide the blood on your lips, and when you need to sleep for months on end. War is our cover, but we are naked when there is peace."

Sakura eyes him warily, "You said that there's always war, though."

He palms his face, eyebrows furrowing together in annoyance. "A financial war in Suna, not the type that creates people like me."

"Oh,"

"Yes, now let's get you into bed, little one, you need sleep."

She frowns, "Do you know how long I'll sleep this time? I don't like sleeping for too long."

"That is up for your body to decide. It will optimize the time to regrow your wounds, otherwise it will take much, much longer." He answers, and pulls something out of a folder. "Get in bed, Sakura, there will be more I will teach you when you wake up."

~~~

There is a long and strained silence in the village for a week. They fear the worst, but there are those few optimists who believe the creature dead. They celebrate, and the cry out in joy, but they do not see the look on the masked man's face when he sells his merchandise. 

They know he knows something, but every traveler knows something. They let him sell his expensive trinkets, and they let him be. It's not uncommon for them to see a young girl with him, the shiniest and silkiest pink hair they've ever seen, and they mourn the time when she leaves for her distant relatives for the week.

They can't relate her time gone and the silence of the creature as the same, and her cover goes unnoticed. She is one of the main attractions for the villagers, they love her so much. 

They give her pretty dresses, and pretty things to go with them. Her caretaker tells them that he could leave and it would be like nothing changed because of how often she is with the elderly men and woman, mothers and fathers. They laugh and joke with him, but they never can tell behind his mask and grim eyes.

She is back, and so are the murders. Once a week, they lose someone, and they never think about it. No one cares, but they take precautions now. They learn to fight and to block. They all try and kill something, at least something small. Sheep, rabbits, they all go at least once.

No one cares for the rabbits, they were rodents to begin with, but they begin to excel in selling their pelts and their meat. They eventually feel the disappearance of the sheep in the summer, when they notice they struggle with wool production.

Sakura is glad that her mentor knows how to set up deals between people, because now this village flourishes with new blood and more opportunities.


	2. if i was alone

The summer is hot. The heat swelters and burns, and it leaves a myriad of distortion on the horizon. It’s a stark contrast compared to winter.

“Get down from there,” her mentor scowls from the floor of the forest, “I brought you out here to look for rabbit dens, not to climb trees.”

“I already know where the rabbits are, though,” she calls down from her branch, “I’m just enjoying this height.”

“Bird eggs are too small to make even a dent in your diet, there’s no need to frolic with them.”

Sakura laughs lightly, “It’s not the birds, it’s the fact that I’m so high. I’ve never been this high up.”

“I should take you to Iwa, then, if you desire to see height.” He says, and gathers himself up, peering up at where she perches, “it is the only place where you can find villages scaling the walls of mountains. Not even Kumo can compare to its beauty.”

“The other children say I’m ugly,” Sakura mentions, a sad undertone in her voice, “I want to go to Kumo and see it’s beauty, to see if I’m as bad looking as they say.”

He snorts, “Beauty is nothing to take notice of, it’s vain and frivolous. If you want to have others see you as you want, there’s a thing called manipulation. And genjutsu, illusionary techniques, but those are levels higher than what you are at right now.”

A small smile blooms on her face, and Sakura hums pleasantly, “I want to be really great at illusion!” She declares with a triumphal crow.

“It’s a good thing you already know one,” he says blithely, “Why would I want a little girl walking around looking like she just came out of a bar full of smokers?”

She gasps, her eyes widening brilliantly, “That’s an illusion spell?”

Letting out a breathy chuckle, he nods, “Yes, it is. You’re consistent with it, and I guess it’s time that you move onto something harder if you’re taking such an interest in it already.”

_“YES!”_

~~~

Sakura’s mentor hums appreciatively. “You are a quick learner, Sakura.”

“Anything to be better,” She cheekily replies, dispelling her illusionary technique. “I’ve yet to fail, right?”

“Failure is natural,” he says, “it becomes a hassle when that’s all you do. I don’t want you to overwork yourself because you think one failure means it’s a downfall from there.”

“As long as I succeed, that’s all that matters to me.” She calls, and presses her hands together in focus, reapplying her technique.

He has to admit, she has an unnatural talent for illusion. He hopes that she will be a force to reckon with in the future, and that she’ll surpass his own strength with her intelligence and creativity.

~~~

She tosses the ball to one of the girls, Mihoko she thinks the name is. They laugh, and they throw the ball. Mihoko’s sister watches them from afar, chatting with one of the older boys. 

“Saku-tan, Saku-tan!” Mihoko calls out, “Chase me, chase me please!”

Sakura laughs, and starts to chase the smaller girl. They circle a tree once, twice, and Mihoko trips over one of the hidden roots with a yelp.

Sakura gets a good whiff of blood, and she can't stop the growl that tears through her throat. She coughs to clear herself up, and applies a heavier illusion over her body to keep herself from seeming too affected by what she smells. It lies heavy on the air, and she plugs her nose.

"You okay, Miho-chan?"

Mihoko sniffles, and turns around to show Sakura her scraped knee. She thought there would be more blood. "Get Fuyu-ane, get-get Fuyu-ane!"

She twists her head to find where the sister had gone, but a part of her tells her to look closer at Mihoko, smell the fresh blood, taste it, taste it**. She shakes her head again, and she can feel her teeth poke behind her lips, her eyes water in anticipation. 

Find Fuyumi, she's gotta find Fuyumi. _But where did she go_? 

The urgency rises up her throat, and it takes too much of her energy to keep herself composed and under that illusion technique. She's never thought that something so easy for her to do would become so hard under the pressure of stress.

Mihoko inhales loudly, "FUYU-ANEEE!"

"I'm trying to find her!" Sakura shouts back, and runs a little faster, "I don't know where she is!"

"Sakura." It's the voice of her mentor, and she's never been so relieved. "I'll handle this. Dispel the illusion and go look for something to eat."

She nods, her body trembling and covered in cold sweat. Had that little blood turned her into this monster?

She scurries off, and makes a beeline for the forest line. She can still smell her blood, and some dark part of her hopes that her mentor doesn't take her kill.

But… Mihoko is her friend. Why would she want to kill her friend?

She pushes on, and gets on all fours, face pushed into the ground. She knows there are a few dens in this area, but she can’t get the blood out of her nose.

Eventually something catches her nose, and it’s thick and heavy like it’s been sweating. Lifting her face from the ground, she follows the trail. Se can feel her illusion spell rub off, and she lets herself grow into the beast that she was born as.

Her eyes burn as they change to accommodate the night vision, even if they are unnecessary at the moment. Claws peak beneath her nails, and the beginning of wings break the surface of her back. It stings, but she’s more driven to find the source of where her nose is taking her than the pain.

This is her feral state, and she is lost to her senses. She finds something, there’s two of them. Their shock is so prominent, it’s basically palatable, and a grin overtakes her face. Sakura can’t help it, they smell fresh.

~~~

Mihoko sobs into her mother's arms, her face red from the tears and the rubbing. “It’s my fault!” She wails, “It’s all my fault Fuyu-ane is gone, isn’t it!?”

Her mother shushes her, petting her hair, “No, no, my dear Mihoko, it’s not your fault.”

Sakura sits nicely next to her mentor, “I shall leave, Sakura has seen enough tears today.” There’s a grim undertone in his voice, and Sakura hopes she doesn’t get in trouble.

She didn’t mean it, she just found Fuyumi and that boy together, and she could still smell the blood. Everything was already hazy, she thought they were like the little rabbits, but she knew that their fur wasn't right, and their screams were too wrong to be nothing but human.

She looks up at her mentor, “Am I in trouble?” she asks, her voice quivering.

He places a large hand on top of her head, “No, you’re not.”

“I didn’t know it was them,” she says softly, “they didn’t smell like they used to and I thought they were something else.”

“It will happen, Sakura,” he says firmly, “At least no one saw you shift. That is what should take priority; your safety.”

Sakura sniffles, and moves closer to him, “When will I know when I’m not safe?”

He doesn’t answer her.

“Will you ever leave me?”

“Not in the foreseeable future.”

She doesn’t like that answer.

“I want to teach you some more illusion techniques, Sakura,” He mutters, “I am not the best, but it is far better than learning alone.”

Sakura nods solemnly, and grasps at his shirt. He takes one of her hands and begins to lead her outside. He tells Mihoko’s mother that they will go home, and leaves the mother-daughter duo alone in their own home.

“Genjutsu is the term you will want to use when you’re around ninja,” he begins the moment her feet left their home, “Illusion techniques and genjutsu are interchangeable, but one of them has a deeper history in the use of their beholders. Vampires have been known to have a deeper advantage in genjutsu and illusion, while we are weaker in the usage of kotonjutsu. Genjutsu is different than illusion in the way they are cast, one of them has you prepare it with universal hand signs, while the other has you do nothing at all to induce it.”

“Hand signs?” she mutters, “What are those?”

“Do you remember those seals I taught you? The ones with the paper and brush.” 

“I remember my hurting wrists,” She says.

He snorts. “Yes. Hand signs are a physical form of seals, drawing chakra from your pools as need be. The first thing I’ll teach you is something to be used for distraction, adding a little something at the peripherals of your victims' vision that is strong enough to cause a physical reaction from them. Sometimes even the smallest thing can cause a reaction, and other times it will take something creative.”

They stand the door of their inn, and he stops her there. “I will teach you how to use correct hand signs, it’s rare to find someone who’s not a vampire to be able to cast an illusion without the use of hand signs.”

“I thought you said that you wouldn’t let me be a ninja,” Sakura says, and tries to reach for the door. He stops her, and closes his eyes. She can’t tell what he thinks behind his mask, and she wishes that she could see his face at least once.  
He grunts, “Being a ninja is different than being a ninja tied down to a village.”

“Can we go inside?” She asks, “I don’t wanna stay out here.”

Opening his eyes again, he nods. “I will teach you hand signs when we get inside. I hope that you will learn all thirty-two by morning.”

_“Thirty-two?!”_

~~~

The next two months worked like that. She did learn all thirty-two hand signs that night, and then some on theories about the application of illusions. She was a quick learner, and it was easy for her to adapt to different situations of living and feeding. 

After that incident… Sakura wasn’t allowed to feed again for two weeks when her feeding schedule was every three days. He said that if she learned the negatives of feeding too little that she’ll learn to have a stronger control over her first phase.

He tells her about her other forms and shows her his phase one form as well. He tells her that she has a total of five phases, and that each work on a tier-esque level of difficultness to work with.

Phase one is the phase that all vampires have. It’s used to feed, their fangs grow more prominent to pierce throw flesh easier than their blunter human forms. They will also grow wings on their backs and claws on their hands, used for whatever purpose.

Phase two is a little more difficult to get to achieve, but with intense training and dedication will make it easier to get to. It adds a tail(all unique towards their own person, and Sakura wonders what hers will look like), and their venom turns to a paralytic poison, just a scratch of nail or tooth is enough to slow even the nimblest ninja down in seconds.

Sakura thinks phase three is the best(in theory). Her mentor tells her that it enhances all of her abilities, her speed and strength, as well as her vision and hearing and scent. He tells her that she will actually grow fur and her fangs will protrude out of her mouth. 

He also tells her that phase four will never happen by force of will, and that only stress and unbearable amounts of trauma push her towards this form. Her arms would break and mold themselves into their own wings, turning the set of one into a set of two. Her bloodlust becomes uncontrollable, and she could last days in a blind rage killing and destroying things. 

The fifth phase is much worse. This phase will leave the human figure forever mangled and ugly, and the death of a vampire in this phase. She will become much, much more stronger as well as faster and deadlier. He tells her that many will die in the phase, or die when they resume their human figure.

He spends a lot more time with her, putting aside his duties as a merchant to help her. He shows her katas and the basics of many different styles of fighting, telling her that it’s better to have a stylized signature than to be obvious.

She gets better at genjutsu, learning actual genjutsu instead of the basic illusion spells she knew at birth. He gives her praises, and begins to let her use them on the villagers. 

It’s on the eve of the third month he lets himself slip up.

“I won’t be around forever, Sakura,” he tells her, “I’ve been forced into a contract and I don’t know how long I can keep running.”

Her eyes glaze over as tears push past her eyelids, “You said you’ll never leave!”

“I said that for the foreseeable future. I was not certain on how long I could keep them off my trail, and did not make any long-term promises.”

“You could’ve chased them off!”

He sighs, “There are people out there stronger than me. Those people happened to be some of the few.”

Sakura sniffles, “You said you’ll be around for me.”

“And I will be. I just won't be around as often.” He starts, “And you’ll need to find another teacher. It’s inappropriate to purposely leave a young vampire unsupervised.”

She leaps on to him, kicking her way up his long body and clinging to his neck. He lets her do this, and places an arm under her for support. “I don’ want you to ever leave! Not ever!”

He sighs. “They are a strong group of mercenaries, I doubt that they would want one of their own dragging a kid around and tarnish their image. They are strong, so I doubt that I could just ignore their demands.”

“B-But I-”

“My name is Kakuzu,” He interrupts, “I would like you to start using it.”

“That isn’t the point! I don’t want you to leave, I don’t want you telling me your name just because of it!” She cries out, and tightens her hold around him, “I want you to keep on teaching me, to keep on telling me those weird stories that have to point, I want you to show me how to live like a vampire!”

“Sakura.”

“I don’t want you to leave me! You can’t leave me, Kakuzu! Never ever will you leave!”

“Sakura.”

“I’ll be sad and I don’t want that and you know it! You’ll leave me and I’ll be alone and-”

“You won't be alone, Sakura, there is a woman out in Konoha who will watch over you and show you the ways of the vampire.” Kakuzu says, “She runs an orphanage, and there are others like you. Like us.”

Sakura sobs into his shoulder, “But I want _you_.”


	3. if i was not

They stay a week longer, saying their goodbyes and planting good lies. Kakuzu says that he can’t keep Sakura around much longer, it’s putting a strain on his business. He says that he can’ handle training a young girl like herself and manage a job like his. 

Sakura plays the crying damsel, wishing to stay(because she doesn’t want to leave, she doesn’t want to leave him), crying in parents and aunts and uncles arms. She really doesn’t want to do what she’s doing, but Kakuzu says that the more pity she gets from them, the more she can feed. 

She doesn’t want to feed, she wants to stay.

“Everything should be packed,” he says, looking down at a piece of paper, a manilla folder laying open on his bed, “your registration papers have been taken care of, and you’ve been officially adopted by Haruno Mebuki. She isn’t the nicest person in the world, but she’s the only other vampire I trust enough to teach you what you need to know.”

“Do I have to go,” Sakura asks calmly, her tiny hands wrapped around a small doll, “I like it here, with you.”

Kakuzu sighs, “It’s hard to depart from something you’ve seen growing, seen from the dirt and to the happy.”

She sniffles, “Why are you so poetic when you’re upset.”

“Why do you have such an advanced vocabulary when you’re only four,” he rebuttals, placing the paper inside of the manilla paper. “We leave tomorrow morning. I think that should give you enough time to say goodbye to your friends.”

“Al-Alright.”

~~~

They leave the next day. Mihoko cries in Sakura’s arms, they both do, actually. She can see Kakuzu’s grimace beneath his mask. His face is softer, though, he’s not mad at her. He’s never been mad at her.

Departing all she’s known was easier than she thought. Just one leg in front of the other. Left. Right. Left. Right.

Kakuzu is quiet, hands limp at his sides and eyes focused at the end of the road. Sakura is his antithesis. She bounces by and spins around him, holding the newest thing that has caught her attention. Sometimes its a bunny-rabbit, other times its a particularly shaped branch or a pretty looking leaf.

She talks most of the time, trying to prompt a conversation out of the man. She talks about nothing most of the time, bringing up memories and funny smells and sights, even when she’s been in this world for so long.

Eventually, Kakuzu makes them move a little faster after he sees how slow they’re moving. They manage to find an inn, and they find the cheapest room there. It’s not too expensive, considering there is only one bed and neither have any plans on sleeping, but it could have gone to something better.

Both of them agree. But it’s better to act human despite the lack of need to do so, even when they become less of a thing done for long-term safety and more of a thing done out of repetition and habit.

The next day they move off again, but only after do they share a kill. Kakuzu says that sharing a kill is something only reserved for family members and loved ones, and when Sakura asks he tells her that in all technicality she’s his daughter. She tells him that she never thought of him as her mentor to begin with, and hugs his legs for a good hour before she lets him go.

They depart that inn with a pleasant aura around them. Well, as pleasant as Kakuzu can get.

Sakura is happier when she ignores the obvious. She still talks, and this time he talks back, even if they are little more than half-hearted grunts. It's more than a score for her, and she smiles so hard that her cheeks start to ache. 

By noon Kakuzu tells her to slow her pace, that they have more than enough time to go at their own pace and 'to enjoy nature while it lasts'. She doesn't know what he means by that, but it's more than enough for her.

They find another inn almost the moment the sun falls out of the sky. It's full of people, some travelers, others merchants, some fleeing from the very village Kakuzu wants to drop Sakura into. They talk of a monster in the streets, and Sakura's mouth waters at all of the opportunities she could do with that information. 

Kakuzu doesn't let her talk with them once he gets them a room. He orders some food service, something to busy themselves with once they settle down. She doesn't really eat her fill, her stomach too underdeveloped to take much other than blood and gore. 

It's a long night, and Sakura gets restless. She runs in circles, climbs the walls, anything she can get her hands onto is now in her mouth. Eventually, Kakuzu sends her out, tells her to talk to whomever she wants, go find someone to at least feed off of, test her illusion spells, anything to get her out and away from him.

Her grin is feral, and her teeth brush against her lips. 

There is a total of three murders that night, and she will last days without another feeding after this. Kakuzu reprimands her, telling her how much of a trail she's leaving behind, laden with blood and obvious displays of vampirism.

And once again they're off. He lets her resume her normal activity, although it's not like he'll say much. After having such a large meal that night she is pretty content.

They arrive at Konoha that night. The moon is up, although it's obscured by the thin and wispy clouds. It leaves a cute blue blush over everything and Sakura observes as much of everything as she can. She loves this color at night, it's so muted and quiet. It's not like the brazen blue of the sky, where it takes everything beyond the treelines and turns it to something that Sakura knows she doesn't really like.

The screenings take too long, and Sakura can't remember much other than Kakuzu picking her up after the third hour of standing and waiting. He tells her that it's his paperwork they're looking into and, that once everything's cleared up thinks should start to move smoothly.

She wakes up alone in a dark room. The blankets on top of her are heavy and sturdy, and it takes a lot out of her to push them off of her. She is in the same clothes as she was the other night, they smell heavily of perfume, obviously to hide the stench of blood and vegetation.

The floors are cold underneath her feet, it's a chill that rides up her legs and into her spine. There's a light on in the hallway, the light bleeds from underneath the gap of the door. Sakura's vision quickly adjusts to the darkness of the room, and she quickly makes her way to the door.

The short hallway is painted with an orange light, the traditional walls empty of any sort of emotion, and Sakura wonders where she is. She hopes that Kakuzu is still around, too, hoping that she'll see him at the curve of the hallway, maybe where there would be the door to the kitchen, talking to the grumpy ol' Haruno he told her about.

But, as she makes her way down, she begins to realize something. Kakuzu said that this lady owed him some debts, and that her watching Sakura is how she's repaying him. He taught her that once a debt is settled, never speak to them again, even if it's for details on their transaction; all of it should have been done beforehand when the deals were being set.

She stops before she looks into the next room. There are clinks of utensil on ceramic dish, and an occasional content sniffling. 

"I know you're there, child," A voice rasps out, and Sakura is reminded of the local drunk of the other village. Kakuzu said he smoked a lot, and that's what happened when you smoke too much. "Kakuzu isn't here if that's what you're waiting for."

"Where is he," She asks, her voice muffled from the lack of use.

"Come out from behind the walls, dear, and maybe I'll tell you.”

Sakura's feet feel heavy as she turns the corner, and she feels like she could sleep forever.

"Hello, Sakura," Mebuki drawls, "You just missed dinner. Would you care for some left over?"

She shakes her head in the negative, and Mebuki hums.

"Frozen meats help with upset stomachs. You should get used to it while you're here, dear Sakura, it's the only thing I'll offer until you can take care of your own kills."

"I have taken care of my own kills before, Miss," Sakura says abruptly, why didn't she already know that? 

Mebuki smiles coyly, "Ah, finally I learn something from you. Kakuzu-san didn't bother telling me anything, being the cryptic ass he's always been." She rises from the seiza position and takes her stained plates from the table. "I hope that you continue to throw surprises at me, Sakura dear, I am raising the stakes."

“Where did-”

“Kakuzu-san left without a word. He placed you ever so gingerly on the bed and disappeared.” Mebuki tells, and discards the dishes in the sink. They clatter loudly together, and Sakura flinches at the noise. “It’s not my job to follow after fathers leaving their children behind, I only take care of what they left me.”

“Did he tell you anything?” It’s a useless question. She just wants to know more. She just… wants to see him again.

“He didn’t even open his mouth. Or from what I saw at least, his illusions are too subtle for me to dispel correctly.”

Sakura takes a tentative step inside of the kitchen, her movements slow and precise. Mebuki’s eyes are on her, catching her every movement with a keen sense of observation.

“I can see he has been training you more than he should have.” She comments, her voice low. Her fingers smother wrinkles on her beige blouse, and she makes way towards Sakura.

“He told me that I’m good at what I put myself to,” Sakura mutters slowly, turning her head down to avoid Mebuki’s hard gaze. 

“You’re four, dear, you should be nowhere near a kunai or whatever he had you use.”

“I don’t know what a kunai is.” She whispers, head hanging lower.

Mebuki chuckles lowly, her obvious smokers voice attributing to how low and gravely it is. “You will learn that in the academy. You’ll start next week, by the way. I have most of the stuff you’ll need, but most of it will be rubbish anyhow. You already have more than what I offer the other kids, so I guess once you see Kakuzu again you can mention something like this, eh?”


	4. if i was happy

It is an abrupt change to Sakura’s life living with someone else. Mebuki installs the rules to Sakura the moment she settles down with the old lady at the table. It seems Mebuki prizes herself with her kitchen skills, everything is shiny and almost looks like it’s brand new.

They go shopping, something Kakuzu wouldn’t allow unless necessary. Mebuki has her get new clothes, even if she feels she won’t wear it as often as she should. She still buys it though, claiming it might become useful one day. 

Sakura doesn’t get to see the other children at the orphanage, though. Mebuki says that they’re shy little things, and that they’ll run when they see her. She doesn’t know why the older woman won't let her make new friends, but she shrugs it off and wonders through Konoha with no destination in mind.

She’s not allowed to feed without Mebuki around. She says it’s because there’s a more of a population density here than the other village she was at, and that she could get killed if its found that there’s vampires in these walls. Sakura doesn’t understand what she means, and Mebuki doesn’t clarify, so they both leave it at that.

The week passes by slowly. Sakura tries and tries to get Mebuki to do something with her, to let her feed, or to make some new friends down at the orphanage she runs, but Mebuki always has an excuse for her to say no. In retaliation Sakura begins to leave the house at night, her small body easier for her to hide and slip away with not even a concern.

Konoha is warm at night, warmer than what she’s really used to, if she’s going to be honest. No one has stopped her yet, even when they give her weird looks and try to take her to places. It takes a quick and _almost_ harmless illusion spell that sends them bumbling back down the road.

The first day of academy comes to her like a really, really slow snail. When it happens, though, it hits her like a brick wall. Slapped in the face with the fish of crowds and bad luck.

She becomes flustered, and it’s like every other body around her is touching her, trapping her in a box of heat. Tears slip down her face, and she wipes them away quickly. She’s not crying, she’s not crying, she’s not crying she _swears_.

Mebuki has her get dressed early, and she actually brushed her hair that morning. It’s silky and shiny now, used by a brush that Mebuki says she had to commission to get.

Sakura doesn’t even know what that means.

She’s led to a class by her ‘mother’, and pleasant but stiff smile stuck on her wrinkled face. She isn’t given much time to observe the bright and shiny halls, smiling teachers standing at their doors and parents entering the room and leaving without their children. 

The teacher at her door is a pleasant looking woman, although a good whiff tells Sakura that maybe she shouldn’t talk to this one. She reeks of alcohol, and the bags are dark underneath her hollowed eyes. She smiles the liars smile.

Mebuki turns her around to face her, “I want you to play nice with the other children, mkay saku-chan?”

“I don’t think they’ll like me, kaa-san,” she mutters, wincing at calling this woman mother. “The other kids at the park didn’t seem so.” Her words are true, even though she’d only been able to interact with someone else her age under constant supervision.

“Just be nice,” Mebuki hums, and then her grip on her arm tightens, “and don’t bite anyone, for the love of all things holy, your cousin still has your marks on her arms!”

‘Don’t kill no one, child,’ is left unsaid.

She nods and a smile on her face, “I wont, I promise!”

“What a cute child, miss Haruno, if I’m correct?” the woman before them says, and Sakura’s eyes dry as a waft of alcohol suddenly overcomes her senses. “I am sure she’ll make a nice student under my teachings.”

Mebuki nods, and lets go of Sakura’s arms, “She is a quick learner,” she promises, “and she expects to learn a lot under you.”

“And I expect just as much out of her as she does me, miss Haruno,” the teacher says with a nod and motions Sakura to go inside the room, “Everyone is waiting inside, Sakura-chan, please go in.”

The class is not as quiet as she’d expect it to be. People are clustered towards one particular area of the room, near the back, happily chattering to one another. She risks a glance back, but she sees that Mebuki has already left. A frown permeates on her face, and she clutches at her hands nervously.

Taking a seat is important; she wants the best she can get, and so she picks the closest seat to the teachers desk. No one went over this with her, and she can feel pressure working its way into her brain. 

Folding herself into two, her elbows thunk into the wooden desk, and she covers her eyes with the palms of her hands. She can feel it everywhere, in her jaw and her skull throbs and she knows that she doesn't want this. Her nose is wet, and she sniffles. 

A jolt of cold pain races up her mouth and into her teeth, and she releases her locked jaw and let go of her head. She can feel her fangs at the back of her lips, and sucks at the for a small moment, eyeing the doorway where the teacher still stands, her back towards them. If she can get through this class, maybe Mebuki will let her feed, maybe if she’s nice and docile. 

“Hey, what’s ya name?” Someone yells from behind her, and Sakura jolts from where she sits, knocking her knee on the inside of her desk.

She twists her face and her jaw locks again, and another jolt of white pain zips through her teeth. Her eyes water, and she ducks her head underneath her hair, fingers now digging themselves into the chest of her shirt. 

It’s not even the first day and she’s made a fool of herself.

“I’m Ino!” The other girl shouts, “And I want to be like my father!”

Sakura tries to hum an acknowledgement, but it comes out as a pitiful whine. Her face miraculously bleeds red in shame, and she knows that this encounter will leave her hungry and scared. 

“Hey, it’s alright,” Ino continues, like she already knows what she’s doing. Sakura hopes she does, because that means she can get some help, because she doesn’t know where else to go, “My father said that the other kids won’t like being taken away from their parents for so long, and that this is all normal. He said that I should bring something of mine that i love and care about today to help me calm down, did your father do the same thing?”

She presses her head further down until her forehead touches the desk, and shakes her head no.

Ino cooes, and Sakura feels like Ino’s trying too hard playing ‘house’. “I think I have something for you. He didn’t tell me how many I could bring so I brought two, here, you can have one!”

Sakura looks sharply from her spot, and sees Ino grab a little plushy from her side and places it next to Sakura’s head. It takes a while for Sakura’s eyes to focus on it, refusing to move her head for just this, and she can feel the warm tears leak down her face. She does a nasty sniffle, and her forehead feels tight.

“You-You don’t have to.” She blubbers, “I don’t need it, I don’t need it right now.” Raising an arm, she wipes away the tears and the snot, or at least smears them across her face.

“I insist,” Ino assures, “you seem like you need something to make you happy again. Her name is Yayoi, and she makes sure I stay safe at night. She’ll fight off anything that wants to hurt me, and I’m sure she’ll do the same to you!”

Sakura eyes the little plushy, and looks at the purple fur and the long, long ears. The thing must have been half ears half body. “You don’t need to,” Sakura tries to be stronger, but she isn’t. Ever since Kakuzu’s been away, she doesn’t know what she’ll do. “I- I’ll find something of my own, so you get to keep Yayoi. I don’t want to bother you with something like this.”

Ino throws her head back and laughs, the kind of laugh that's forced but not hostile, “Don’t be silly, I’m gonna give this to you. I’m sure you need something like Yayoi in your life, and I won't mind giving her to you.”

Sakura nods her head, her body shaking. “Th-Thank you, Ino-s-san.” She manages to mutter.

The other girl grins, and flippantly waves her hand in a ‘it's all good buddy’’ motion. Her head turns towards the door and her eyes sparkle; the teacher finally comes into the class. Sakura hadn’t even noticed that other children were dropped off already.

“Alright, children,” The teacher says, and claps her hands together. Her voice is loud enough for the other children to quiet down, but some of them don’t stop talking, “ _Children_ ,” She asserts louder, and they quit their mumblings.

She smiles, and her eyes don’t crinkle the way that a true smile should, “Today is the first day of the academy, and I hope that we all have a good year.”

~~~

A bell rings somewhere, and Sakura can’t help but jumping at the noise. It seems that some other children flinch too, and their teacher, miss Yodoka, laughs. “Recess time!”

The children screech and hop out of their desks, pooling by the door, shoving each other. In a moment of uncertainty, Sakura joins them, mimicking them and there’s a smile on her face. Her grip on Yayoi tightens.

They’re led through the blindingly white hallways, the light from the windows glowing. The walk is short, and they’re joined by another class, and when she finally opens the steel doors to the outside, the other children around her shot out of there, happily joining their other friends.

Sakura’s left to amble her way to whatever destination. She spots Ino with some other people, but Sakura doesn’t know if she should give Yayoi back to her.

Placidly, she picks a spot to rest. She doesn’t stray too far from the door, and she keeps Yayoi in her hands, twisting her body and petting the soft ears. Seriously, they were probably the softest thing she’s ever touched. Ever.

Recess is long, and Sakura can’t find it in her to talk to anyone. Her eyes always find their way to Ino, watching her keenly. Sakura doesn’t know what she wants from her, whether she wants to know what she tastes like, what her smell is when terror grips at her heart, or if she wants to know whats she likes, to feed her like a lovely little pet.

The day is short after that. They go back inside, and learn about what the year will be like for them, and they’re given things to draw with, to draw on. Sakura draws the copse where Fuyumi and that boy were found. She says the red scribbles is just some weird rock formation that she loved to stand on, forgoing the bodies and the blood. She’s sure that normal four year olds haven’t killed already.

Home is even quieter. Mebuki doesn’t talk to her, and she spends her time idly drawing things she remembers from home. Or, what was once home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://discord.gg/cEE8Rj8
> 
> come join a discord group :P this is where i get most of my ideas for fics, events. etc. real nice ppl, good environment for basically anything


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